Marriage in the Time of Corona
By Casey Sprehe
During engagement and at our wedding, I had a clear view of what I wanted our marriage to look like. And while I accounted for kids, I did not account for everything that came with them – activities, sicknesses, school projects, friendships, etc. Ten years later, all those things are my reality and, at times, posing a threat to my marriage.
COVID-19 changed everything. God knew what he was doing.
The things that filled our calendars before the COVID-19 were not bad, just disproportionate to our desire to be home as a family. With daily life mostly cancelled for us, our focus became our domestic church: our family with a top priority on our marriage. We wanted to remember why we liked each other (something easy to forget with a house full of kids 😊), what our interests were and why we fell in love in the first place.
A few new routines have become part of our marriage which have helped fortify us.
First, our parish offered a marriage series called “Be Light.” It was a series of videos on marriage with questions for the couple to discuss. It gave us discussion prompts to enter into deep conversation – conversations like we used to have pre-kids. Then we would join other couples in our parish by Zoom to discuss. It was spiritually enriching for us to dig a little deeper into the sacrament alongside others striving to do the same.
Second, we started watching a TV show together. We joke in our house that as soon as we put the television on, I fall asleep. This is true. I am not really into watching TV, and my practical side can always think of time better spent or a better way to unwind.
Because of the white space in my life, I relaxed a little more, saw the need for unmarked time and was able to watch and enjoy a TV series with my husband. That is a first in our marriage!
Third, because my husband did not have to leave early for work anymore, we started a morning workout and prayer routine which has set our days on the right path – attending to our physical and spiritual needs first. It has been a mainstay of our days, something I treasure so much, especially since we do it together.
And lastly, since moving into our house four years ago, we had punch list items that we never finished. They were not major, just tedious tasks that took time. Because of COVID-19, my husband had the time and space to tackle the projects with our sons alongside him learning to do handiwork.
While COVID-19 has been a hard and trying time, I have seen how God has used it to recommit my husband and I to each other and for that I am extremely grateful.