By Gina Sternfels

April is Autism Awareness and Acceptance Month, and yes, it is our everyday life. But, it is also a time for me to stop and be grateful for how far we have come as a family on our God-given path.

One day, my four-year-old son and I were at the park, and another mother came up to us and greeted us individually. I responded and let her know he did not understand since he was nonverbal and had severe autism. 

Her response was, “We want to presume competence.” She explained that just because a person cannot speak, we do not want to make assumptions that they do not understand or cannot learn. 

Ask yourself monthly or yearly: Is there a place where you set limits or barriers for yourself, your child, or God?  

Reflecting on the last 15 years, I can see times my son showed us glimpses of what he was capable of. One doctor pointed out that putting the dishwasher door down as a step, climbing on the counter to walk to the fridge and getting what he wanted that we put out of reach is not measured on assessments, but that is strategic thinking. 

Again, other times, I thought it was up to me to teach him everything. Yes, as his parent, it is my vocation and calling to do my best here, but these are also the opportunities God was calling me closer to surrendering that control to Him and letting Him show me the limits or barriers I put up. 

He was building my competency in understanding autism, but more so, in seeing my son the way He did. My son taught me to see all people, be more compassionate and presume competence in them. That means treating everyone how we were treated at the park that day, which is what Jesus says in the Gospel of Matthew: “We love our neighbor as ourselves.”

What does that look like? Seeing everyone as a child of God means making eye contact, talking to them, and not talking about them in front of them as if they are not there. When I love my neighbor as myself, I see the gifts and abilities. I get to presume competence on a level I never imagined. 

If you have doctors or therapists telling you what will never happen, I recommend not taking their limits on yourself or your loved one. Stay close to God, surrender it, and allow Jesus to walk with you.  

He can perfect our growing faith along the path that leads to competency for all of us. Thank you, Jesus!