Couples benefit from joint decision-making

By Ty Salvant

Derrick and I have hosted families and individuals in the past. I didn’t ask the first time, which led to a lengthy discussion on couple decision-making.

We have compassion for large families, and we practice stewardship regularly. There is a collective “we” when I share how I accomplish tasks, write blogs or participate in organizations. Derrick is my partner, assisting in many of those tasks.

There was a point early in our marriage when Derrick said I couldn’t agree to take on another role. I remember thinking, “I can take on what I want to.”

When the next project I accepted ended up requiring his assistance, I suddenly understood his request.

When Father O’Grady counseled us during our engagement, he reminded us that there is no longer “I,” but rather “we” on our wedding day. The adjustment is challenging, especially if you have made decisions independently for a long time.

But, because both are impacted by individual decisions, making them together or with each other in mind is necessary. When you do that, you live out your sacrament of marriage.

The more united you are, the easier you overcome obstacles with finances, family, children and even career goals. Obstacles aren’t eliminated, but rather more manageable because you are working with one accord.

I can easily take on too much responsibility without Derrick’s guidance. He could easily miss opportunities to serve, learn and grow without my openness to new ideas. We balance each other well and can even make “de facto” decisions we know the other will support.

Years of working together in joint decision-making has given us a deep understanding that allows us to know when it’s okay to speak for each other.


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