Can’t Change It

By Stacy LaMorte

Hal Elrod was about 20 years old when he was hit head-on by an oncoming drunk driver. He required 11 surgeries for his injuries and was in a coma for six weeks. When he finally came to, his doctors all said that he still had a very long road ahead of him declaring he may never walk again, but that he was pretty much out of the woods as far as them worrying about him living or dying.

His parents were relieved, and so was he.  However, after several days, his doctor told his parents that he was concerned that Hal was in denial about the whole situation because he seemed to be too happy to really be processing the gravity of his situation. He asked Hal’s father to have a conversation with Hal about his true feelings

Hal’s dad approached him and tearfully told his son how he was feeling mad at the drunk driver who hit him and asked how Hal was really feeling – letting him know that it was okay to feel mad, sad, scared or even full of rage.

Hal said that the training he learned in his sales job included the “5-minute Rule.”  When something undesirable happens, he was trained to allow himself five minutes to be as mad as he wanted to be and then to let it go saying, “Can’t change it.” He explained to his father that it had been way longer than five minutes since his accident, and that he had decided to move forward in positivity and faith because he couldn’t change the situation.

I believe that if we can teach our children that valuable lesson, it would allow them to feel their feelings, acknowledge them, act on the feelings and then give them to God – asking him for the grace to move forward in faith because we certainly “can’t change it.”