Confession and Marriage

By Kristen Bourgeois

When my husband and I started dating, I had recently come back to the Catholic Church. I finally made my way to confession. Many years had passed since my last confession, with the last one prior to my confirmation. Confession was still new and scary to me.

Meanwhile, my husband was a confession professional. Which, honestly, at first scared me. I remember thinking, ‘What is this guy doing that he is going to confession so much?!’

Leave it up to my naivete. I’ve learned since, frequent confession is necessary and extremely valuable in our pursuit to holiness.

While dating, we weren’t on a confession schedule, but over time we started heading to confession at the same time. It seemed to give us a super slam dunk of grace in our relationship. We were able to seek forgiveness and mercy while renewing our resolve together with God to avoid sin in the future.

This practice of going to confession together has continued in our marriage, and the benefits never cease to amaze me.

Confession reconciles us with God but also strengthens us as a couple to tackle the sins we were struggling with as a couple. Going to confession together made our pursuit of holiness a team effort. It’s like inviting the coach into our relationship to help us sin no more and to avoid the near occasions of sin.

St. Pope John Paul II said, “Confession is an act of honesty, and courage – an act of entrusting ourselves, beyond sin, to the mercy of a loving and forgiving God.”

And, what better way to do that than with your spouse.

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