When your child’s dream dies
By Kim Roberts
Parenting is a tough and sometimes heartbreaking gig. But, what exactly do you do when you are on the sidelines watching your child’s dream die?
A bit dramatic I know, but at the time that is what it looks and feels like, and you are powerless to fix it.
Your child has spent countless hours working to achieve this goal, be part of a team. She feels confident, has accomplished all she has set out to before tryouts. She is strong, powerful and ready. You know that she is prepared both physically and mentally, and there is no reason for her not to reach a goal she has had since she was 5 years old; a goal she looked forward to and knew she would achieve.
But on that day, at that tryout, those in charge decided otherwise. I could see the pain in her face; I felt her heart breaking, I knew she felt unworthy and questioned everything and everybody, a terrible time for a teenager – and her mother. And, being a biased mother fully aware of her talents, I wanted to yell and fight and say “What the heck are you thinking? You have wrecked my child. Hope it was worth it.”
The worst part is she trusted her mentor to do right by her, but it was not in the cards. So, I had to hide my disgust, rage, anger, disappointment and distrust of the adults who were supposed to be there for her and salvage her confidence.
We talked about taking pride in a good try out, holding her head high knowing she did her very best and that it just wasn’t meant to be. God has another plan for her, and she needs to be open to it.
I know as an adult that many doors will close and many will open, but as a teenage girl everything seems so final. Literally, her whole life was wrapped up in this particular sport with one acceptable outcome. She never doubted that she would accomplish this. Anyone who knows my daughter knew this was her destiny. But this is a valuable life lesson and a learning experience – we don’t always get what we want, we get what we need.
There is something else out there for her that will utilize her skills and experience, where those involved will appreciate her, lift her up and will be a perfect fit. God is in charge, and we need to remember that as we work through the disappointment and betrayal. Tomorrow is another day, and she will succeed.