Leaving the Valley of Comparison

By Leslie Bertucci

See if this sounds familiar:

You’re casually scrolling through Facebook or Instagram, skimming through your friends’ posts about their smart, beautiful children, awed by the pix from their latest date night or vacation, admiring their hostessing skills as evidenced by the lavish parties they’ve orchestrated.

Pretty soon, you’re not feeling too good about yourself. You start thinking, “Why aren’t my kids on the honor roll this year? When’s the last time my husband and I went on a real date? Are we ever going to take that dream vacation we always talk about? Why am I not as good a wife and mother as they are?”

If you ever find yourself in this place, here’s my advice: Run, don’t walk, to the nearest virtual exit! Put down your phone or close your laptop and go outside and clear your mind. Because you are smack dab in the “Valley of Comparison,” and it is toxic.

In the Valley of Comparison, everyone is doing everything better than you are. They are better parents, better spouses, better professionals, better Christians. Their praises are sung by the teachers, the soccer coaches, the scout leaders and even the cashiers at the grocery.

Unlike you.

Well, guess what? No matter how perfect another person or family may seem, they have struggles and issues we don’t know about. We do ourselves a disservice when we compare ourselves to another person.

God has taught me this valuable lesson: If we realize WHO we are, and WHOSE we are, we won’t wallow in the Valley of Comparison so much.

God made us the way we are, with our particular gifts and talents, on purpose, because he loves us.

He always wants what is best for us. But the only way that will happen is by surrendering to God, trusting that his plan is better than our own.

And, I have found that, as we give up trying to be anyone other than who we are created to be, we are set free to love ourselves and others the way God created us to do. And there’s no joy that can compare with that.