When We Can’t Love Unconditionally

By Ty Salvant

Disillusionment is a feeling of disappointment resulting from the discovery that something is not as good as one believed it to be.

Disillusionment can be cyclical, occurring hourly, daily, weekly or monthly and can be brief or linger depending on our response to it.

While disillusionment itself isn’t a sin, our response to it can be. Gluttony, wrath, sloth and selfishness are a few that come to mind. Although we can experience disillusionment in every aspect of our lives, usually it occurs with those who are closest to us most often. Yes, our family.

When my husband or children’s jokes, comments and actions annoy me, I’m in deep. When I laser focus on their areas of struggle, only seeing imperfections and not the attempt to grow, it’s disillusionment. When I am quick to anger or my usual smile at their entrance is replaced with a look of disappointment, it’s disillusionment.

Regardless of the form it takes, I’m not seeing them the way God sees them. I’m not appreciating the gifts that they are, that they bring to my life, nor the opportunities they provide for me to grow. In turn, I’m not loving them the way God calls us to love.

Instead of offering the gift of my love, I’m offering an exchange of good behaviors. “If you listen, I’ll….”

Recognizing disillusionment is the first step, followed by reconciliation to acknowledge your sins resulting from disillusionment. That allows us to make the decision to love unconditionally again.