Rejoicing in the Sleeplessness

By Ana Borden

A lingering cough had taken over our household. Our youngest sought comfort during the night, us both half asleep, which continued off and on from the midnight hour into dawn.
Five days later, while averaging less sleep than I cared to keep track of and, in the midst of deadlines and the everyday shuffle of family life, I was very much looking forward to rest.
But within all of those sleepless nights not only occurring this past week but actually for nearly a decade now, I have tried my best to resist the temptation to complain because, in those sleepless nights, I actually found reason to rejoice.

I rejoice being able to smell his sweet scent in between awakenings. I rejoice because I could still feel the dimples between his knuckles as he reached for my hand. I rejoice that I could hear him breathe peacefully once he was comfortable again. I rejoice that I have the responsibility and honor of being given the gift to be his mother.
And above all, I rejoice that I was so lucky to be holding him in my arms, despite his tears and my sleeplessness and having never suffered the extremely painful loss of a child or infertility.

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